The craving for attention

All of us are attention seekers, albeit to different extents .
The way we market ourselves , the way we speak, walk, the wardrobe we choose, the latest hairstyle that we try, infact many things we do in a social setup are all aimed at seeking attention , consciously or subconsciously, if not everyones , atleast the approval of a select few's . When we entertain a crowd , the chaos a gang of fun loving students create, when a singer performs on stage , when you complete a task and look at your friend or boss with meaningful eyes , expecting a pat for the job you did,the number of times you look at the mirror, the way you suddenly start talking in a loud or obvious manner in a group.... and the list goes on .... we never even realise that we require so much attention.

Now what i would like to explore is
1. why the need for attention
2. why some people crave for attention

THE NEED

Why should we get an approval from someone else about how we do a particular thing , when in the first place we like , or are comfortable with it ?
Maybe it is because we would like to dress according to their tastes and so have the sense of security that their approval and hence their support would lend. It is the need for social security.
This again arises because we have a sense of insecurity ourselves.We are all born with a little bit of this insecurity. Even a child throws tantrums to seek attention. Perhaps a little bit of this attention seeking is natural.Also associated with this is our lack of belief in the self . We dont believe that people would accept us the way we are , so an attempt to appease them. But why should we appease them ? Security again ... . Here again one may argue that there are a few who live life their way , least bothered about social norms... but dont you think that is another form of attention seeking ? the attention bestowed is negative , but it doesn't matter to them , they get talked about ;which might not have happened had they been an ordinary person.

CRAVING
In the above cases the person is satisfied when he gets the attention he seeks.
But there are a lot many people , who are never satisfied with all the attention that they get. They go out of the way to seek this attention and always feel dissatisfied , lonely and neglected.

perhaps this is the case with all of us for different reasons ...
how many times have we complained ... "that sir would never even look at our bench ", "that person would'nt even bother to talk to people like us " , " oh do you still remember me ? "
though what we felt would not have been the case.

This might perhaps be attributed to the mental attitude and the emotional background of the person. The person might not have found acceptance somwhere at some point in childhood , perhaps from a parent or a friend ...... and so feels that whatever he does he is stil not going to gain acceptance ( though this might not be the case with him now ) . thus they might be a nuisance to those around them , or in their quest , might exhibit negative behaviour such as pessimism , sarcasm , dominance , defensive , or possessiveness.

ILLUSION
My question is ,
how do we deal with such people .. and how do you help them overcome this ( if at all )...

open to all suggestions and criticisms

Last 16 Hrs before an exam

Enough of wasting time .. i have to start atleast now if i want to pass ..suddenly my head is spinning and i dont know where to start from, i dont even know the syllabus !!! ( now i know what you are thinking of me ;) but then i have managed to pass this way for the past 5 years ) . with my brand new , just dusted books, i set off seeking advice from all those generous souls who are midway through and wouldn't mind letting a word or two of advice slip from their mouths .
After admiring their sincerity and learning prowess, i finally get a hang of the enormity of the portions and wisely decide that this is not the time to display my chivalry and attack the portions from the front . Instead i get those "Important Questions " ( somehow ,only those would not show up in the question paper tomorrow , by Murphy's Law) from my "well wishers" and set of on this formidable quest for a pass mark.
Last 14 hrs
I realise that i am getting nowhere , and then meticulously plan out a strategy ( which i know am never going to implement) and decide that it would be better to start full fledged after dinner .
During dinner i see all intellectuals of my class engrossed in discussion , teaching ,comparing status ... omg where am i ?
After a hurried dinner, on the way back i find consolation in the fact that a few poor souls like me exist too and we all decide to tackle the challenge through " combined studies " .
After a while into the combined studies i find that we are only discussing how to study , what to study,but not studying actually , i decide alone would have been better , and head to my room.
6 hrs before
"and marketing of perishable goods like apples ... and Newton made a living by selling apples .... selling is not marketing understanding consumer .. goods washing machine .. Newton is washing clothes ... "
what !!!! it was a dream ....omg i've been sleeping all the while thinking that i am reading...
the remaining hours are spent skimming the pages, half asleep , audio learning (friends recite the lessons to me )and finally rush off to the hall just on time .
The dread is here
Happy that some of the questions i prepared for have come , i start to write the answer . but the pen doesnt move, suddenly everything is blank .. i remember the humorous analogy that sir had derived for easy recall , but now i recall only the humor and not the concept !!
Very sure that i would be coming again to give this paper a second time, i set off creating my own stories , proposing theories and explanations ( i take time to giggle at them too ) , cursing the education system and finally hand over my research paper well before time .
The irony
I make sure that my parents are mentally prepared to accept news of my flunking , desperately pray for mercy that i dont deserve and don't even bother to learn the correct answers.
But wonder of wonders most of the times it so happens that i pass . (strange isn't it ??)
Musings
What does the education system attempt to ascertain ? a persons rote memory , his writing ability in those 3 hrs ? and how do these help in guaging a persons true command over the subject ? The system should have a gamut of more practical, logical and application oriented tests .And these should be on a continuous assessment basis .
Illusions
This is too far fetched an idea and if anything the system will only go worse , what with a 5 th class kid already being burdened with IIT coachings and schools with no playground becoming the order of the day .....

This blog i dedicate to my lovely sister who has always been a source of strength to me , and inspires me through her sheer determination and approach to life ... my attempt to be like you is on dear sis .....